I am sad to say that my excuses of pregnancy and hormonal challenges have lost their effectiveness. What am I talking about you ask? Well, I have been writing off my frequent crying as a temporary nuisance. Historically, I am not a crier. I always said that I didn’t have anything against it, but secretly I did. I thought it was a tad weak and just annoying. I even made fun of someone in high school that cried at the movie Armageddon (not nice poking fun, but pretty rude stuff- I am still ashamed) (hey, it was a Bruce Willis movie for crying out loud- she was really crying loudly). It all started when I was pregnant with Sadie (I had a brief bout while on fertility drugs, but quickly got over it- thank God). I wasn’t crying everyday or having emotional breakdowns, but the occasional tear would escape when, say, an Olympics commercial would come on or someone would die in a movie. Naturally I blamed it on the crazy hormones whelming up within me (why is that necessary to grow a baby?) and just knew that it would go away once the redhead vacated the premises. Hey, I even gave allowances for post-partumness. Sadly though, I can no longer blame it on Sadie. She is 19 months old (I can, however, blame the pooch on my stomach on her- something the other two did not cause).
What is happening now is insane! I had no idea it was this easy to cry. I am not a blubbering crazy woman or anything, but my eyes fill with water way too often. I tear up at things like stories people tell me (happy or sad), a song at church-(well, pretty much everything at church-), good news, bad news, stupid little mistakes (like, burning dinner or running out of cereal when that is all I want in the world), seeing someone pulled over or stalled on the highway... It is ridiculous!!! I can no longer claim to be an emotionless creature. How sad (I am not tearing up, I promise)… Is this how life is for others? Will I be like this forever? God help me! Maybe I should start taking some testoserone or something. Shoot, I don’t want chest hair. Maybe I am just learning to deal with life in a new way. I am most definitely more understanding of others emotions and would rather cry than yell at someone. Crying can make people feel sorry for you while yelling definitely does not.
I still do not officially say I am a crier, but my guess is that will change. What is the actual amount of crying necessary to make one a crier?
I'm the same way - was a diehard non-crier pre-kids. Now I find myself constantly fighting off the tears. But I will keep fighting! :) I don't think you're officially a crier until someone else labels you as one!
ReplyDeletehahaha! now you know! wait until you have your second kid. I actually don't know if it has a cumulative effect but man if it does you're in TROUBLE!....but I guess i'm in even more trouble because I was an over-cryer before Claire ;)
ReplyDeleteoh crap! I hope to never have my own children... because then I would hit the category of blubbering idiot!!!!
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