Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Poofed Out!

I was going upstairs with Madeline yesterday to put her to bed and she said, “Whew! I am really poofed out!” It is so hard to not laugh because she is trying so hard to be grown up and I don’t want to always correct her, so I just said, “I bet” and left it there.

I do sympathize with her though. Last weekend really poofed me out. On Friday my super sweet and responsible nanny was driving my car when someone hit her (by her I mean my sa-weet minivan). The other people have insurance and no one is disputing anything, it is really just another thing I have to coordinate and deal with- so sad. On Saturday though, Josh and I were being super great parents and decided to take the kids swimming at our local rec center. Taking our crew anywhere is not for the faint at heart, much less swimming. We really did have a good time though. Madeline loves the water- always has. Timothy is pretty amusing when he swims. He LOVES to put his head underwater. Sounds fairly normal, but when you look around and see the little guy constantly putting his head underwater (quite forcefully I might add) for about 20 seconds, then pulling it out gasping for breath only to repeat the process again and again- well, you get the picture. He really does like being in the swimming pool and Josh and I just take turns being man-handled and stared at by others. Sadie had a blast too. The rec center has a really fun slide, which Sadie very hesitantly ventured onto only to realize how magnificent it was. I think she went on it about 20 times. So, all in all, it was a lot of fun. That is, until we went to leave. Someone decided that they would benefit from taking our possessions. Meaning, our phones and my watch were stolen. Usually we do not bring this stuff in with us, but I guess we both were distracted and did not think about it. I have never had anything like that happen, so this is a whole new adventure for me. In the scheme of life having those things stolen is not a big deal, but it has been really tough. The watch was a gift from Josh when he passed the bar (we always joked that I would get the graduation gift once the whole school thing was over, and I did) and the phone was really one of my favorite things. Sounds silly, but I had an iPhone and I had everything on it. It was a 3Gs, so it had a little video recorder and it took good pictures. Call me sentimental, but I really love to watch the little videos I take of the kids- it makes me smile. Even though I know it is only stuff and it is not the end of the world, I am just totally bummed out. I feel like someone is walking around with a piece of my life. I don’t want them to be able to watch videos of my kids or look at my address book. I don’t like that I had to go and change passwords for everything I could think of or that I now have to start over on a new phone. Why can’t we all just be nice to each other?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Tina Fey

I heard Tina Fey read this on NPR and I thought it was hilarious. Then, I saw that a friend of mine ( posted this on her blog. I could not resist. Though it is a tad crass, it is funny and pretty much says it all. If you have a daughter or plan to or have a friend who does..., you will enjoy this.


First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.



My daughters would NEVER do any of the above. NEVER...

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Time is tickin' away, tick tick tickin' away...

Well folks, it has been too long. Time has just gotten away from me and now it is the middle of May. How in the world did that happen? So, what have we been up to? Oh, nothing much, just Timothy in Kindergarten, Madeline trudging through third grade in a new school, Sadie

embracing being two, me running two half-marathons and hmmm… oh yeah, Josh started a law firm. To make a long story short it was his only option that would not only provide for his family (us- not his other family- they are on their own), but would also enable him to practice law the way he envisions it should be. The law firm is off to a great start; we really have been amazed at God’s provision. I was trying to continue to work in real estate and help Josh run the business side of things and it became quite obvious that I could not adequately do both. So, now I am working full-time with Josh. I love doing administrative work (I am serious!) and especially love working with Josh. You know, he is really pretty funny. I am also learning to work in the whole criminal law scene.
It is unlike anything I have ever done. Well, I did work for a seminary for a few years and there are criminals in the Bible- does that count?

Since I have not posted in a bit, I thought I should probably give updates with pics of my offspring. I guess I will start with the eldest and the one with the most amusing stories. Luckily for us things have been pretty even with Madeline this school year. She is in a great classroom where she is able to get a lot of attention and structure. She is blossoming into quite a little lady. I wish I had some pictures to show some of her latest fashions. I guess I will just have to tell you what she wore for Easter. A cute multi-colored striped cotton summer dress, pink and white snow leopard furry vest, rainbow Hello Kitty socks and rhinestone high-heeled shoes. When she showed me her outfit she said, “Don’t these shoes make me look SO grown up?”

Timothy has really helped with my prayer life and running speed. We just keep thinking that surely he cannot get more destructive or surely he will calm down. Not so much. He just keeps growing taller which means he can reach more- this is where my running comes in. I am getting really good at sprinting to catch or prevent something from flying across the room. I think my prayer life has grown so much by having him around- I don’t think I need to expound on this. He did do something super sweet last week. I was gone for a few days and when I came back he was so happy to see me that he kept looking at me and smiling and coming over to sit on my lap (for more than 5 seconds). This, to me, is progress.

Sadie, oh Sadie… I think she is going to give me just as many stories as Madeline. She is such a strong-willed little lady. She is also very funny and smart. I believe she will most definitely help me grow even more as a mother (just when I thought we were going to have an easy one). Right now she is in ballet and absolutely loves it. She talks about going everyday and will even show us some of her moves. Well, the other day I took her and the teacher came out at the end to give us a report. She said that the girls had had a rough time listening today, so she had to start a rewards system. She gave the girls stamps every time they listened well. She said that some got 3, some 2, some1 and even 0 stamps. Well, all of the little girls start pouring out and showing their moms how many stamps they got and Sadie ran to me and showed me her arm- 1 stamp. That’s my girl! I did see the Mom with the little girl who did not get any stamps, I have noticed her before because of how much she looks and acts like Madeline when she was 3. Poor woman. To show you how much I have grown, I could honestly care less how many stamps Sadie got, she is super adorable to me and I now know that my quality as a parent is not measured by stamps.