No....No!

Sadie is talking now. She can say a lot of words like, Mama, Papa, ball, all done, more, that, go up, socks, and shoes. I think there are more, but my brain can only hold so much. Sadie’s new favorite word is, “no.” I am not capitalizing it at this point, because she says it so sweetly. It is actually pretty cute (not to worry, this will only be for a little while- just let me enjoy it!). She now follows Timothy around to keep him in line- when he is pulling out books like a man possessed she walks up and tells him, “no-o.” Pretty soon we are going to have her babysitting (well, she actually sat on him the other day to get him to stop pulling out books- does that count?). When Madeline was little “no” was actually her first word in English. In fact, she learned it within a day (interesting…I think it was a sign of things to come). The funny thing was that “yes” took about a year for her to master. She kept the Russian, “da” for a while and then morphed it into, “dap” (a mixture of da and yep) before she finally bended to our crazy English ways. Those were the days….

I have been thinking about how interesting it is that we learn the word no so easily. For me, that particular word has not been especially easy. I am sure I was just fine as a kid, but those days ended and I became a people pleaser. Suddenly the word “no” was very difficult. In school, this actually was a good thing (at least for my teachers), but it took me a while to figure out I could use that word to help myself. Yes has gotten me in bad relationships, doing way too many unnecessary things for others, and generally just doing things that I shouldn’t be doing. Thank God I have learned my lesson (for the most part), I am still a people pleaser (in recovery- thank you), but am learning that it is okay to say no. For my daughters- I hope that they learn the word “no” and hold onto that. Not in a rude way, but in a “take up for yourself” way. I want them to be strong women who know what they want and are not afraid to go and get it. I say this now not knowing what it will look like in the teenage years, but let’s let the naivety stay around as long as possible- it gives me hope.