Monday, March 1, 2010

How I do it "all"

***WARNING- this is out of my comfort zone- sappiness and cheesiness reign- don’t expect to laugh too much- sorry- it must be the pain meds***

I have been thinking a lot about how tough life has been lately and really for the past 13 years or so. I get asked on a regular basis how I do it. I have even had two therapists tell me that they are pretty shocked I have not had a complete breakdown. I am not saying this to brag or get pity, but rather to give an answer. The only way I have made it is God. I don’t mean this in a sappy Christian way, but rather an everyday living kind of thing- this is the only way I can honestly keep going feeling optimistic and content that God knows the way and I don’t have too.

God has given me a super crazy ability to deal with stress. My everyday life with three kiddos, two of which are special needs, a husband in law school (just finished!!!), working to support the family and just normal stuff is pretty overwhelming. When family or friends spend more than a few hours with us, they comment that our family life is pretty intense or just flee in shock, glad that they get to go home and relax in a peaceful environment. I may be exaggerating a little about the fleeing part, but you get the idea. Things are hard without extras thrown in like surgery, trouble in school, etc. God has been so faithful though, somehow I wake up every morning excited about the day (for the most part), I am optimistic that things will get better and confident that God will carry me through. Even when some pretty tough stuff comes my way, I can only seem to dwell on the negative for less than a day. I have no idea why this is, but I am simply incapable of being down and out for long periods of time. Maybe it is my strange sense of humor, maybe I am just a glutton for punishment- I just can’t help myself- I have to make fun of it all. I guess I just hope people will laugh with me and then somehow see God in my story. I think the only reason for my super hero powers is God’s provision. He has given me more than I can possibly repay.

Josh- my sweet husband is beyond words. He is exactly who God designed for me. Through our messy life our relationship has grown stronger rather than growing apart. He loves me so much and continually strives to show me. He makes me laugh and smile everyday (it may not always be on purpose). I sometimes think that he loves me more than I could ever love him. This is not to say that I don’t love him, I just feel like he loves so unselfishly and completely- I don’t feel I am even capable to love in that way. He gives without expecting or even wanting anything in return. He is just super cool and I am super lucky.

Family- God has given me an amazing family, both biological and the family I married into. Our parents have been a source of provision, physically and emotionally. They both offer a different type of relationship, which really is

amazing. I am so blessed to have incredible siblings. My sister is my best friend. This has not always been the case (we did the whole sibling rivalry thing- who knows why), but she continually provides me with a listening ear sans judgment. I know I can call her (which I do multiple times a day) and we can talk about nothing or talk about the latest crisis (she has them too- I promise). My brother, Benny, is pretty cool himself. He is the person I can call when I need to laugh and step away from the present. I have a unique relationship with each of my siblings and Josh’s as well. It is pretty nice. We even have a great extended family who are always ready to pray and listen.

Friends- I cannot say enough about my spectacular friends. In each of our moves, God has given me the exact friends I needed. It is incredible how much they have been there for me, especially since we are not near family. They have been our family. I have learned so much from them. Even though I have not been able to stay in touch with them all, they have made a difference. Our Oregon friends are beyond amazing. This has been, by far, the toughest couple of years yet and they have stood beside me, comforted me, encouraged me and helped me in so many ways. Quite frankly, I am a pretty needy friend and they have been there without question. If I am ever able to repay them I will be surprised. They are just that incredible.

So, there you have it, this is what I am made of. This is how I live, this is it.

Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe.


  1. Amen, sister! God has been all over your story. :)

  2. did you write that disclaimer for me, specifically? :)

    but seriously, the reason I so read your blog is because of what you just wrote about and what Angela just said...God is all over your story. And it amazes me. It's beautiful. I see that God is your lifeline and it gives me faith. Your family's life is an every-day miracle and such a spectacular thing that just so reflects God's love!

    I'm so glad I know you :)